Fatigue...

I am not good at slowing down.  I work hard, I play hard, always finding time for a run in the middle of it.  But sometimes, you just have to stop.  Fatigue is a very real thing with MS.  If you try to ignore the disease, it will bite you.

I had that experience this weekend.  I have had a busy week.  Work has started picking up again. That is a good thing. Then, on my day I should have gotten home early, there was a wreck that had traffic stopped for 2 hours.  Instead of waste that two hours, I went for a run.  I was late getting home and late getting to bed.  Next day, get up early, followed by an exciting, but late, night.  As that day drew to a close, I was done.  We were standing for the final prayers.  Suddenly, I was dizzy, my legs were tingling and getting weak, I was hot.  Instead of falling down, I sat.  Some days I am smarter than others. Amy brought me home and put me to bed.  The next day I slept for about 4 hours, got up for a few, and then went back to bed for another 10. 

The fatigue with MS is very different from just being tired.  For me, it manifests as both physical and emotional--probably the depression jumping in too.  My arms and legs tingle and hurt.  My legs are weak--just squatting down to pick something up is a challenge.  My vision is off--it is like I am looking through a prism.  I have a hard time holding on to things.  I cry easily. I don't know if that is part of the problem or if it is just the manifestation of the fear.

I think I just needed some rest.  It is better today.  My legs aren't quite as heavy.  I can pick things up a little easier.  But it is always a reminder.  MS is there.  And don't you forget it.  It will be ok.  Today will be an easy day, going back to feeling better and getting back on schedule for everything.  That is the best fatigue management tool there is....keeping everything on a schedule.  

Karma and Living Well

I ran the Rock and Roll half marathon on Saturday. It was a great run. The last part of the pictures and filming was done at the start line--after I found them--and at the finish . At the expo, I visited the MS Society table.  They finally have a charity run team for races, in this case, the Marine Corps Marathon.  It has become a lottery to get in, but as a member of the charity group you can get in with the fund raising.  This disease needs some help.  It is a bad disease.  I am lucky.  Mine isn't as bad as some.

Early in the race, probably before mile marker 1, I saw a woman with a MS shirt and orange tutu on. I started talking to her.  She is a member of Team  Strike Out MS.  She was running with a group from her work.  They invited me to fall in with them, and we ran the whole race together.  It was a very cool experience to run with a group.  The group stayed together--pit stops, water stops, all of it.  The pace was based on the group need.  Whether it was the group or the bonding with the MS team, I don't know.  I know it was one of the best races I have ever had.

I had my cheerleaders at the finish line.  Amy and Sandi had finished their run and ignored/avoided the crew in the finish coral trying to get them to move away.  It is always better when you have people waiting at the end.  They couldn't go to bag check to get their sweatshirts or they wouldn't have gotten back.  I am glad they waited.  Fortunately, this time, I didn't fall down.

The film crew did their final shots/interview after the race.  They were asking me questions like "how was it," "how did you feel," and I am not sure what else.  Now I understand when athletes get asked questions at the finish line why they aren't as articulate as other times.  I had a hard time coming up with words.  My ultimate answer to how do you feel during the race was "joy." Joy to be able to run, joy to be able to finish. 

I am going to be joining Team Strike Out MS for the Bike MS at National Harbor.  I will be running as part of the MS Society team for the Marine Corps Marathon.  Those of you who know me know I am not usually much of a joiner.  Not much in the fund raising thing.  It looks like that is changing. Karma puts you where you need to be when you need to be there.  I am working on figuring out ways to reach out and help.  People with MS need hope.  My writing has started this, then the Runner's World article, then the web documentary, now a whole team.  I have said it before.  My MS isn't like yours.  But everyone has to make it as good as it can be.